CREATIVE CONVERSATIONS 149: CHLOE GILL ON HER DEBUT ALBUM, I HAVE A HABIT OF DREAMING

Interview by Brooke Gibbs

Fresh off the release of her debut album I Have a Habit of Dreaming, Chloe is taking a moment to reflect on the journey from solitary songwriting sessions to sharing her deeply personal work with the world. In this conversation with FMM, she opens up about the pride and mixed emotions that come with releasing a long-awaited project, the vivid daydreams that shape her creative lens, and the intimate stories behind standout tracks like A Bad Day in February.

FMM: Congrats on the release of your debut album! How does it feel after spending so long writing and recording these works, to finally have it out there?

Chloe: I've had so many friends message and be like, ‘Oh, my God. Are you excited?’ I'm so excited. I'm so proud of what this album is and has become. It's been so much time, and for what's been a mainly, solo project where I've written a lot of the music and I've demoed a lot of the music and I've taken it into one on one sessions with me and my producer. And there's been people coming in and out, sessioning on them, or laying down apart. It's been nice to finally be like, this is what it's actually like. This is how it sounds. This has been the vision all along. And it's out and you can hear it. I'm super proud.

I feel really good, but it's also still sort of a bit of like, oh, it's actually out now and it's happened. So mixed emotions, but happy.

FMM: Your album is called, I have a Habit of Dreaming. If we could step into one of those dreams for a day, what does it look like? Who's there? What's playing on the stereo? What's the vibe?

Chloe: Okay. Wow. I feel like there's so many answers that this could go, but at the moment I'm just manifesting being overseas in Canada, America sort of vibe. My sister's living in Canada and I really miss her and I'm actually gonna go and see her soon. So maybe I'm in Canada. Steely Dan is playing and we’re drinking yummy drinks and just hanging out. I feel like it could go so many different ways, but that's what I'm feeling right now.

FMM: Your focus track for this album is called A Bad Day in February, which really captures a vulnerable and emotional space. Can you tell us a bit about the story behind that song and what inspired it?

Chloe: Yeah, this one.. it kind of makes me laugh a little bit when I think about this song because I do remember when I wrote it, I was just so frustrated in that time. I just couldn't seem to get anything right. I felt like ‘fuck everything.’ I just sort of felt like nothing mattered. Nothing was going right. Everything was going wrong. I got scammed on the way to go see Coldplay with my sister, and this dude took my money. And I was just like, ‘What the hell is going on?’ And I don't know if it was just this string of bad luck or if I was just not in a good way. I genuinely don’t know, but I do remember writing that song and I think it's one of those songs that it feels really fun because it is a fun song, but it's talking about what was not a really fun time.

But, I feel like I'm sort of throwing my hands at it in a bit of a sarcastic way, but in hindsight, it feels more fun to play because I'm like, wow, what I thought was such a big deal in that time means nothing right now. I think it's one of those little reminders of, like, even though there's hard stuff that happens, we can get through it. And we look back and go, wow. I was low key, dramatic, but also, it didn't matter that much. This song is just that scrambled feeling of so much stuff going wrong and, things not going my way and just me trying to get that out, which I hope it comes across in that way.

I think that's also kind of what's been a big message across this whole album is hindsight and how much I've learned in hindsight in my life and how growth stems from hindsight. I think that song in particular really is what that feels like to me.

FMM: Your music sits beautifully between country, storytelling and pop. Was that blend or intentional, or did it develop naturally as you found your sound?

Chloe: I’ve always found the genre box conversation kind of hard to answer because growing up, I had a very jazz-focused background - very jazz, very blues. I played trumpet. I was scat singing, and that was my thing, and I loved it. I think a lot of that training and that musicality and that influence in those styles is still very much of interest to me and also kind of stemmed through my writing. Melody writing is definitely in that influence of art sort of music and jazz sort of stuff. But then for so long I used to have people listen to my voice and go, wow, you sound so country. I think, I have like an inflection in my voice where I kind of split between my upper register and my chest register. Sometimes people are like, wow, that's like a yodel sort of country flick. And I think for me, when I'm creating music and when I'm writing music, I'm just doing it for me. I'm not really thinking about the end goal or what genre or sound I should be achieving.

I feel like a lot of my music is quite different. There's some stuff that is more country, some stuff that is more singer,/songwriter. There is stuff that's more rock and a bit more pop. So I feel like just this big blend, comes together and is me creating it. I think that's what I try and achieve. My music has always been an outlet for myself first, and then the fact that I just decide to publicise it and share it with other people is that next sort of step, you know? But, yeah, I think it is a mix of that, and I like that people do hear the country side of it, but do hear the pop side of it, but do hear the. blue side or the rock side. I think there's inflections of all of that, which is the goal I guess, if there is a goal.

FMM: One really relatable song is Pushing Punishment, because we’ve all had our our journeys of trying to love ourselves. Was there a turning point in that song in how you see yourself and your relationships?

Chloe: I remember around the time of writing it and around the time of sort of fleshing out this album more and more and more, I wanted it to be a peak moment. I was listening to a lot of Gang of Youths at the time - The Go Farther in Lightness album, which is a favourite album ever. I love the writing on that album. I just think it's insane. But I guess sort of feeling like I was in this place of really trying to take care of myself and focus on the growth. I just found out that I have ADHD. I wondered why no one told me and went through a, ‘Is there something wrong with me’ catastrophe mode. I've made so much happen for myself for so long without even knowing that I have this diagnosis. But, while that's actually been in the background, and I have made so much happen for myself. I have created so much. I have traveled, I have danced, I have sung. And it was just this sort of celebration mode of I'm actually going okay. You know, I'm healthy, I'm happy, I have great people around me. I'm very lucky to be here and to be alive, and I want to accept that and celebrate that. So that song is really just me trying to say, I guess, for myself first… Like I said writing for myself first, but hopefully with the intention that people do find solstice in it.

And it's a bit relatable, but, like, who am I first and what am I first, and what do I want to be in this world? I want to make a difference. I want to be who I am, and I want to show up authentically. If you like it, you like it, and if you don't, you don't. What I'm trying to say in this song is just like, I'm gonna put my own oxygen mask on, and then I'll help you. I care a lot about other people, but I’m learning that you can't show up for others until you've showing up for yourself.

FMM: You’ve shared the stage with some incredible artists. What’s something you’ve learned from these experiences?

Chloe: I think I love the fact that there's always something to learn from them, whether that's actually through having a conversation with them or most of the time, you know, these people are real people deep down, and they were starting out too. They started out somewhere and they remember that experience and they remember what it was like to be playing to no one before they were selling out festivals and headline shows. One of the loveliest things is how happy they are to help, support, show interest in what you're doing, even if it’s only brief on the night or if it comes back down the track. I think I've had some people who have crossed my path that are a bit more established and friendships have come out of those and collaboration has come out of those, and they're really, lovely experiences that I cherish.

I'm very grateful to have had those spaces to be able to share my music with their audiences. I think it's lovely that they're helping to support those emerging artists. I just love the fact that there's always something to learn from anyone. I don't want to stop growing and learning. I’m trying to soak up the surroundings and build my audience more. I’m just observing and learning. I try to take everything in - not just those nice opportunities and exciting shows.

FMM: What’s next for you?

Chloe: I’m off to celebrate the album. I’m off on a really lovely tour in New South Wales, Victoria, South Australia, Sydney and Newcastle. I'm super excited to finally get to share this music in a live setting. I’ve played a few shows. We did a tour mid last year and some of the album stuff was being sprinkled through those shows, but nothing major. I think these shows are going to be really lovely in the way we put them together. Some are a bit more intimate, which I think is very nice that I can share the potential of my writing.

Some of it can just be in that full-band settling, but I also want to show that the songs work as how I wrote them, and the songwriting experience. There's some really intimate shows on that run and there's some really fun shows with the full band, and they're going to be great.

I’m really looking forward to that and finally getting to celebrate the album with real people in real time. Beyond that, I’m just really looking forward to playing some festivals and writing again. I've been writing a little bit throughout this album project, but I think it's been hard when that's been taking so much time and I've really wanted to give myself to this project, so I’ve been trying to prioritise that. But, I’m also really open to more collaboration later in the year. I'm just really trying to trust my timing and celebrate things. One of my strengths of ADHD, if you can call it a strength, is like that all or nothing mindset. I’m like, ‘Let’s do it all,’ but sometimes you’ve just got to chip away. I think I really wanted to give this album the space I think it deserves, because I’m not ever going to get this time back.